Just the Right Challenge

The Pleasure it Brings

This was the set-up. A group of executives was given basketballs and wastepaper baskets and taken to a gymnasium. Most of them placed their baskets not nearby but at a distance that was somewhat challenging. Their shots sometimes didn’t get in, but they often did, too. Without prompting, most of them were giving themselves just the right challenge: not too easy, but not too hard either. It was the Goldilocks Response: just right.

There’s a lesson there! Finding just the right challenge is especially important after age 60, when work responsibilities may have lessened. For some, health issues are the biggest challenge and obliterate all else, at least for a while.

But I’m talking about the voluntary challenges that make life meaningful and exciting. I admire the people who try something entirely new in later life, such as painting. Hats off to George W. Bush! I respect the memoirists who share their personal histories with others, sometimes writing books for the first time in their lives.

And I understand the motivation of people who have no financial need to work yet still propose and create freelance reports just to face a deadline and connect with others. Tension and release! And although the fee is meaningless to them, they grumble when they get paid late!

The challenges can’t be too big, or they are daunting and dispiriting. There’s a reason most races have age-group awards. The 50-year-olds should not compete against the 20-year-olds. The writer should not send her first short story to The New Yorker. The boomer should not expect to get a million views on Tiktok.

But many of us create easier challenges to keep ourselves engaged. Each day, my husband attempts and often solves the NY Times crossword puzzle. A good friend does 3 word games first thing in the morning, before leaving her bed. I try to lengthen the duration of my planks.

The bigger challenges involve leaving one’s comfort zone, for it is then that we test and strengthen ourselves. Yet as we age, we tend to play it safe, physically, intellectually and emotionally. We rely on the familiar and the comfortable.  The challenge is to bring novelty into our lives at minimum risk and to overcome the fear that the new often brings.

I’ve postponed buying a new car because I hate to contemplate learning all the new features it will certainly have. Plus, there’s nothing really wrong with my 2012 Honda hybrid. Isn’t it better for the earth if I just keep the old car going? Visiting a car dealership would be leaving my comfort zone!

Yet since turning 70, I’ve often made a point of leaving my comfort zone. I’ve swum with dolphins in Cuba and have even stood on their noses. I’ve gone paragliding in the Alps, soaring silently through the air with a pilot on a kite-like contraption.  I’ve had my naked body painted by a body artist. I’ve gone alone to a cuddle party and by myself to a literary gala. I’ve even consulted a medium, the biggest departure of all. And I’ve written about all of these things. The challenge is double: to do these new things and to communicate my experience.

Writing these posts in The Pleasure Principle is also a challenge, and I’m happy and relieved if I maintain my weekly schedule. I like the notion that my subscribers expect a post about pleasure every Tuesday, and I like the idea that I can provide it. Sometimes I write about a long-held preoccupation, sometimes about an idea or a question that’s come up that very day.  

Either way, it’s just the right challenge.

What’s yours?