The (Dubious) Pleasure of Rating Everything

I Give it Two Stars Out of Five

These days, all experience, no matter how humble or even microscopic, is subject to review. I was at a car place recently and was handed a clipboard when I arrived. The questionnaire asked me to rate my experience so far.

Shortly after pumping out the sewage tank, South Fork Septic sent me an email asking me to review their work, from one to five stars. Obviously, they could get one star, but I tried to imagine what conditions would merit three stars. Lost in these considerations, I didn’t reply.

Today they asked me again, demanding a response. They will not get it. They did their job (adequately? wonderfully? who knows?), they got well-paid, discussion over! Why do they need my input--after they’ve handled my output?

One is constantly exhorted to be judgy. QR codes on ads send you to sites where you can rate your experience in situ. After every Uber ride, you rate the driver and they rate you. Host and guest rate each other on Air BnB. Anything less than five stars may be cause for concern.

Perhaps my disinclination to give stars or reviews is a generational thing. I didn’t grow up in a digital world. There was little back and forth between producers and consumers, and the former didn’t demand feedback from the latter. Consumers didn’t give products stars; they voted with their wallets. So I feel they are asking too much of me when I’m asked to rate mundane services or products.

I went into Chase last week to make a deposit. This was a simple transaction and took perhaps 45 seconds. Today, Chase asked me to rate that experience. And that was just the beginning of a long questionnaire I declined to fill out. The final question was bizarre. Based on that one transaction would I recommend Chase to a friend? I mean, who would do that?

Last week, Staples sent me an email asking me to rate a recent buy, a box of Number 10 Business Envelopes. I could also leave a comment. I wonder: Do they expect me to give it a five-star review and a florid two paragraph rave?

Routinely, before you can get telephone help from customer service, you are asked to stay on the line to complete a quick survey, after the phone call is over. At that point, you’ll hear something like, “On a scale from one to five, with five being the best, how would you rate your satisfaction with your customer experience today?” I hope I haven’t stalled the careers of various customer service reps along the way, but I almost never stay on the line to rate the interaction.

How I have changed! When I was in my twenties and the telephone rang and it was a marketer who wanted to get my thoughts about some product, I was flattered that my opinion would matter! I would gladly stay on the phone for ten minutes answering questions.

I guess it was different speaking to someone, having something of a conversation, rather than clicking on stars or trying to decide if that cheery hello at the bank merits a 9 or a 10.

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