Part of the pleasure principle is acknowledging what makes you happy, no matter how quirky it may be. What someone else sees as a chore gives you a secret satisfaction. What someone else dreads you adore. No one else might understand, but these secret pleasures are part of your quiddity.
(Using precise if obscure words is one of my secret pleasures. “Quiddity” was one of my mother’s favorite words. It’s the quality that makes a thing what it is, the essential nature of a thing.)
Secret pleasures are different for everyone, but admitting which are yours means you might maximize them. For instance, a housecleaner told me that one of his clients insists that he not clean the glass coffee table. She just enjoys doing it herself.
A friend loves taking a shower in her new bathroom with its hillside view, so to spend more time under the hot water, she now flosses her teeth in the shower, making something rather tedious very pleasant. (Environmental note: she does not live in a dry area.)
Another friend likes, of all things . . . paying the bills! He says it feels satisfying to get to get household finances in order once a month. And looking at the credit card statements helps him relive certain meals, certain events.
A cousin likes cold fingers on her body. Other people might shudder or squeal, but she adores it when her husband comes in from the cold and puts his hands under her shirt and on her back. (She laments that erections could never be cold.)
Many people get pleasure in anticipation. They truly enjoy planning vacations—considering which sights they’ll see and choosing their hotels and restaurants in advance. For them, this can be as much fun as the trip itself. (I do not understand these people, but I take them at their word.)
Right now, I am anticipating the publication of my novel next month. The Kindle version is just up on Amazon today!
Getting a bargain is another secret, maybe not so secret, pleasure. When you’re at the cash register in a department store and the item is, strangely, 20% less than the price on the tag, what a thrill it is! People with millions in the bank will brave Costco just to save on toilet paper and socks!
My great friend Gay, then scraping by, adored going to second hand stores and finding treasures to wear. At one point, an old friend with a lot of money asked her to marry him. She did not love him, and his money was not a mitigating factor. Indeed, it worked against him. She explained, “Getting a bargain wouldn’t be fun anymore!”
As for me, I like sorting out the laundry, especially when it’s warm and fragrant from the dryer. Pairing socks (what a triumph when there are no extras!), folding pants, stacking shirts: I make order from the chaos in the laundry basket! Is this a great pleasure? No. Is it a little one? It is.
RANDOM TIP
Not so random, this time. One way to pack for a trip is to do the laundry and simply pack from your piles! These are the clothes you like, the clothes that make you comfortable and happy. Bring them.
If you have a secret pleasure you’d like to share, please do so in the Comments. Or “reply” to me privately. I love hearing from you.
Until next time, enjoy your age!
I love your "Pleasure Principle" articles. Thank you for sharing.
My Dear Catherine, I'm loving your wisdom and thoroughly enjoying "The Pleasure Principle." Coincidently, recently came across my copy of "Skin" which you gave me a number of years ago. Keep up the wonderful insights into the "principles of pleasure!"